The thought of starting over again is filling me with a sense of foreboding... I am a very long way from where I was and from where I would like to be. Happily I have started planning and have begun making some decisions. There are for example 24 weeks until the autumn (standard) version of the Cardiff Half marathon where I can run the same course that I just set my personal worst on, and see how far I can put that right.
First things first - nutrition! At the moment I am eating extremely badly, worse than I have for a long long time. I have on several occasions found myself (and it does feel like I found myself because it is so 'mindless') binge eating. At the moment I am lacking what some like to call 'balance' in my approach to food. Truth be told I am just not enjoying my food at all at the moment, it feels like a chore or something I should just grab between doing other things. So I tried to restore a bit of mindfulness to proceedings by picking up the food tracker app... that didn't last very long as it seemed to add to the feeling of food as a process not as a joy.
So apart from trying to rekindle some run training over the next couple of weeks I have a bit of a battle on my hands to readdress these bad habits that have grown up like pernicious weeds around my eating. I am going to try and make things as simple as I can and give myself as much opportunity as possible to sit with my food and enjoy it - eating mindfully and not mindlessly - and find some form of balance to stem my insistent and steady weight gain.